Resistance
Published on April 17, 2022
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about resistance. I have firmly reached a plateau in my photography. I know that I have so many fun, challenging, rewarding steps in my creative journey to go but I am riddled with inertia, inaction, and indifference. I want to share my work with others as framed prints and see them hung in homes, businesses, and gallery spaces. I want people to pick up a book of my photography from their coffee tables and enjoy it slowly on a peaceful, quiet Saturday morning. I want to grow and sustain my photography business through sales of my work, collaborations and commissioned projects, and by teaching online and in-person workshops. I want to direct my creativity and design interests towards making other visual art products as well.
I want to try to do “this whole photography business thing” for real but resistance has been holding me back. Resistance has been guarding the door closely and making me wait patiently for the time to be right. My resistance uses a concise but effective vocabulary that has stunted my progress, disrupted my thinking, and dampened my enthusiasm for the work needed to make my photography aspirations come true.
My resistance has been telling me mixed messages like the following:
You have a fine art photography business — but you rarely try to sell anything.
You want to exhibit your work in galleries. Why have you turned down offers to do so? You say “they didn’t seem like the right place for my work.”
You are waiting to be asked - for collaborations, for access to places, for paid gigs, for new challenges. By waiting to be asked, you have, for the most part, forced others to cosign your aspirations.
You don’t print your work because if you do, you might have to try to sell it through persuasion or self-promotion.
You get taxed thinking about VAT and state tax nexus. If you don’t sell anything, you don’t have to worry about taxes.
You want to photograph and share human stories. Why are you looking up at the buildings and taking the same types of pictures you took in 2018 and 2019?
Your photo backup system is an absolute disaster. I bet you won’t be able to find all of the original files. It is probably best to wait on making a book until you fix this completely.
Your mom wants to hang a few of your photographs in her place. Why can’t you print some of your favorites and send them to her. You know she supports you in everything you do. She won’t tell you if the photographs you selected aren’t really her style.
It is clear to me now, more than ever, that my resistance is fear in disguise.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of making mistakes.
Fear of devaluing my time, effort, talent, and care.
Fear of not being good enough.
Fear of the unknown
Fear of opening a door to the unchecked pursuit of a full time creative career instead of one in dentistry.
Thankfully, I hold the kryptonite for my resistance - it is the fear of regret. Starting today, I am ready to face my fears directly en route to living my best, regret free creative life.
